I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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