Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
worst night to have a conscience
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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