his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
