Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
