Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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