just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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