I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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