Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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