You're my little dorito
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
