did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
