guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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