Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
