I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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