I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
