I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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