i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
