Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
