Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
