Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
