people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
