I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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