I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
