Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
