oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I am one with the molecules
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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