is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
