I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
kristin has been a bad kristin
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
