I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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