I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
