someone threw a dead crab at me
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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