In the future we'll all be gay
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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