I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
