I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
