She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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