Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i think i just lost a toe
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
