Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
