Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
