Dual....:-)
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
