I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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