do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
