Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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