Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
