Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
it's great music for shaving your balls
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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