I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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