you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
