I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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