Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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