you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
