New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
