Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
