his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
The chlamydia really affected his face.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
